Sapporo

The good lord has blessed me with enough intellect and charm that I’ve had the great fortune of visiting many incredible cities all over the world.

Vienna, Sardinia, Seoul, Hvar, you get the picture. But amongst all the great cities in all the countries I’ve visited there is one that stands out as uniquely crafted for a man of my tastes. That city is Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.

I want to take a note here to say that at the time of this writing the world has decided that white boys loving Japan is cringe. Ok fine. But I’m better than them because I hate Tokyo. Or I’m no better than them for that same take. Who cares let me tell you what Sapporo has.

Sapporo has three main industries: Beer, Ramen, Soaplands

The famous Sapporo brewery of course is in town and beers in this city are dirt cheap and taste fresh as a Coors at a Rockies game. Because of this heritage the drinking spots are excellent. This big great engine of a local global brewery powers the town. Idyllic.

Next is Ramen. Ramen as a food is as beautiful of an invention as Pussy or at least ████████ pussy. Sapporo has the traditional ramen alley. This is a bit kitschy but very classic lamp lit alleyway style with two dozen choices. Sapporo specialty is a pat of butter in a very spicy bowl. It’s heavenly. Maybe if I really want to ruin my life I’ll figure out how to add photos to this blog.

Anyway Sapporo also has New Ramen Alley which is in the first floor of a traditional Japanese building where floors 2-7 are billiards, hooker Karaoke, and other such frivolities. It’s here that I ate the best bowl of my entire life better than the 50 other bowls I’ve tried in Nippon.

More than the beer and the ramen is the incredible degenerate culture that runs through the city given it’s the only major city in an otherwise remote snowy mountainous part of Japan. Lots of Plinko halls, lots of underground gambling, lots of Hostess bars, but all I care about is the incredible pussy at ██████ Soapland. I’ve been to incredible brothels all over the world and I’ve convinced plenty of girls to fuck me just for being funny but the experience at a Soapland is unique. For one it’s an hour long where the give you an edging massage for 50 minutes. Real tantric trained for this shit. Two the selection of women for the Japanese palette is too shameful for me to write about in full, but it could scratch anyone’s itch.

These places are so wonderful and everything else there is so perfect that it’s hard to believe a place like this exists. Perfect trains. Cool climate. Gorgeous everything. Bury me in Sapporo under a pile of Japanese whores and ramen.